I’ve been feeling bad about myself lately. And I say fuck that. I should never feel bad about myself. No one should ever feel bad about themselves. My boss did not treat me well from the moment I started working there. And twice now I walked into a room and thought I was being talked about. I know I have a team of Archangels on my side. I saw a psychic the other day who said I literally had 2 standing right behind me. I know my intentions are always good. So why do I keep sucking in all the bad when people throw it my way? Why do I feel I deserve it? I don’t deserve it. I deserve nothing but kindness and love. That’s all I want to give. And anyone who gives me anything but, that’s on them.
I should make an esteemed effort to look for another job tomorrow. I already applied to 2 so far. My boss is insufferable. I find it challenging and taxing to work with her. And my other coworker has talked about her to me, that she frustrates her a lot, but yet they are so tight when we’re all working together. And my other coworker is like a 2nd boss, as a result. She is a lot better to work with though. She is friendlier and helped me so much when I first started working at the studio.
But I’ve been feeling so bad about myself lately, esp while being at work. Mostly because my boss is so terrible. But I want to be more positive about it. I want to get along with her better, but my efforts were all futile so far. And now I don’t even think she likes me for a couple reasons. But she sucks, and a lot of people have a hard time with her and think she sucks. And if Theresa wants to not like me too, she sucks too then. Birds of a feather can suck together.
Making more art lately is very inspiring to me. I just want to make shit. No limitations or standards or expectations at all, solely me expressing the shit out of myself. I’m going to go downstairs and search for food, and then I am thinking about coming back up here to my room and exploring some art ideas.