Tag Archives: free write

Working on myself, still :-)

I keep thinking these thoughts that people wouldn’t like me, and I’m overcritical of everything I say and do, imagining people are thinking negative things about me. I am constantly obsessing about how I look and compare myself to other people and to my idealized version of how I think I should look. I just looked up Body Dysmorphic Disorder in my DSM-5 (perks of being in therapist school…), and well, it does look like I meet the diagnostic criteria for it, since some of the criteria is preoccupation with

So, how do I fix these pervasive, negative thoughts that I have that are negative about myself and about how I look? I’m going to google some ways to do this. Also, I did find a good app called “Good Blocks” that helps with improving negative thoughts. I’ve used it and I do find it helpful.

Maybe even just 5 minutes a day I can journal words/phrases like, “I am just as good as everyone else” and “I am great”, Idk, stuff like that… that would probably help to counteract the negative thoughts I have all the time. Hmm what else might help… (if anybody reading this has any helpful suggestions, please feel free to comment!)

Another thing that’s been bothering me lately is feeling like other people are not giving me enough personal space. Like, I was at the museum the other day and a lady literally walked right into me, expecting me to move… and I just got so angry that people don’t seem to respect my space lately. Idk if it’s me, or if it’s Boston, or if it’s certain locations, or what? I notice it more in certain stores and places in the area.

I just looked up protecting yourself as an empath and read a couple articles. Eating healthy and drinking lots of water is supposed to be helpful… only thing is I’ve been too lazy to cook at all… maybe I should just get a bunch of frozen veggies and start cooking… I do order too much food… I could just throw it all together with some quinoa and it would still be good… alright, well that was easy to convince myself lol. I think I would feel better about myself too if I was eating healthier.

Okay, I have to get to bed… class in the morning! Good night!


I’m Nervous to go to Work Tomorrow

I’m nervous to go to work tomorrow. No reason out of the ordinary, just nervous to be around my coworkers again. I hope by some miracle my boss isn’t there. I love when she’s not there.

I hope this book I’m reading, Spirit Junkie, helps me a lot. I’m going to do all the exercises in the book, but this one I’m doing now is confusing me. I’m not sure exactly what she means. It’s intriguing so far.She talks about making people “special” in our eyes, like when we’re in a relationship and our world revolves around a relationship with that person, we’ve made them “special” in our eyes. And the chapter I’m on now is about how to “de-special” people. We could make anyone “special”, and put them on a pedestal, or even put things, like a certain weight on a pedestal and make them “special”. The problem with making things “special”, according to the book, is that we use it to feel bad about ourselves, either when we’re not with the special person, or they break up with us, or we’re not at that weight, or we look up to them and down at ourselves, etc. I can definitely identify with that. I seem to put everyone on a pedestal above myself though.

Well, I wanted to write this post initially to just vent about my stress about going into work tomorrow, hoping writing it out would help me. (Free writing can be very magical at times.) But I’m not sure what else to say about it other than that I’m nervous about it. I’m sure it will be like any other day.