So I got done hanging out with a friend for the past 24+ hrs and I honestly feel a little bad. I enjoyed my time, but some of my own issues came up.
We went to the beach, and after being at the beach for hours, I noticed she got kind of more quiet. I started to feel the energy just kind of dull more. Naturally, I started talking a little more. She did not reciprocate. Of course, we were both beat after several hours of laying on the beach and being in the hot sun. But I started to internalize this dip in the mood. I took her response personally. I started to feel BAD.
And when we got in the car, she quickly turned the radio on and up quite loud, honestly to the point where it was slightly uncomfortable for me. Which generally I don’t do if I have people in the car, because it kind of inhibits conversation, and it’s almost a way to say, “I don’t want to talk to you right now”, or at least I took it that way, or at least considered it a possibility.
So anyway… We get back to her place, we each shower, get ready… I feel the mood has lifted for both of us at this point. We go to the restaurant… food was great, she loved the place I recommended… music was cool too (live salsa music). Things are better.
But I hate internalizing this dip in mood and her dip in the way she is treating me. I know it is me opening myself up to it, whereas before I was not. I don’t want to ever do that. I want to always keep my confidence in that situation.
So, how can I feel better about the situation? What can I say to myself to make myself not feel bad over it?
When someone treats me badly, I feel badly. I want to not do this, not just about her… So what can I tell myself to feel better.
“They’re not being very pleasant at all right now, and that’s undesirable in a person. I’m glad I don’t act like that. I’m really pleasant to people, almost always. I can do something else/think about something else/go somewhere else/talk to someone else. I can focus on what makes me happy, cuz this doesn’t. I certainly don’t have to accept it and feel bad. They’re the ones who are being unpleasant, not me. That’s just who they are. No one deserves to be treated like that.”
I want to feel better about being treated like garbage. “They have feelings, they’re allowed to feel crappy and want space or whatever they want…”
I also want to feel better about having a small face/head… I get insecure about it… and she looks so much bigger and more confident or whatever. But I guess I have my own look, doesn’t have to be a certain way.